Upon initial inspection I thought it was a fairly standard shirt, albeit one of higher quality and value; however, little did I know that the experience I would undergo would not only blow my mind, but destroy my penis.
I had what was akin to a baptismal revelation upon adorning myself with this garment. As the fabric from the cloth touched my skin, my body vibrated at the touch of the soft and eloquent feel of the interior. The shirt’s ability to breathe had filled me with the vigor through a breath of life that could only come from the nostrils of God himself. And the overall fit was nothing short of sublime, giving off the outward appearance comparable to an Olympian god. After an initial realization of just what had transpired, my eyes involuntarily rolled to the back of my head and in an instant all of creation flashed before my eyes. From the creation of the universe to the inevitable decay of reality, I was bestowed with all the knowledge and history of existence. I felt something deep within me begin to arise as my body grew limp and I fell to the ground, the moment it took for my body to unite with the cold floor below felt as an eternity until something boiled up within me. My body began to burn, my blood boil, and my bones melt into a soup. It had begun, this shirt had done something to me beyond human comprehension. My body began to transfigure me into something more than man, sharp pain began to arise. The agony I felt compelled what remained of my human form to scream out, but nothing could escape my lips. As I took a new form, the pain slowly subsided, with each passing moment my new form took shape and what laid out on the floor was no longer the man that I knew prior to putting on that shirt. As I collected strength to rise from the ground that I writhed on for time untold, I saw it… a new form, perfect in nature, adorned by a covering that resembled Flacktarn, and by God, I looked sexy as fuck with that shirt on. :)
